rather than a typical blog, mine is more like a reminder for myself. like a diary, like just for personal expression given to my personal godbless self. A site where i find pleasure materializing my emotions and expressions, my thoughts and reflections. Though i write very little for reasons as many as those. Really not good in expressing my personal,personal,personal, deep, heart to heart expression. same goes with just personal thoughts.(Not good? I couldnt, even if i want to) It's quite frustrating, being an IB student,not being able to use the alternative of expressing as a means of relief. (-_-!)
my opinion of my own blog may be because nobody reads it.=P.loser gle..! heheh.. so this became kinda private(talk about private.=D).sbb tu la rase cam diari kot??! =).
I dont socialize half as much as i do at secondary school. so no kmbians here. smkajbian? bz with their own life to bother mine.(or is it the other way around? i believe it is). so nobody really bothers to read this stuff. its more or less the same for me anyway. is it? (this im not sure)
sometimes i say some wise stuff(wise for myself at least/most). so i ought to just record it for sometime later in my life. it might be useful.
So, that is why, as lame as it sounds...i'd consider this very blog of mine as a "foot note" of my life. =)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
jalur lebar
jam menunjukkan pukul 12.41..aku masih terlantar lesu di atas katil bila mendengar ibu memanggil....
"Syah!! cpatla ni cakap ngan abah ape yang rosak broadband ni!"
aduh..kepala terasa berat, badan terasa malas. namun kerana broadband perlu dibetulkan, aku gagahkan diri juga. Dengan penuh lesu aku mengorak langkah keluar bilik. pintu dikuak. di depan bilik aku melihat ayahku berada di depanku, memegang broadband ku yang telah jahanam. terpisat-pisat, aku mendekatinya.
"Huhm??"!dengus ayahku.
lantas aku menerangkan tentang keadaan broadband ku yang jauh di sudut hatiku, aku tau, mmg takkan dapat dibaiki...
ayahku lalu berpaling dan menuju ke luar, ke celcom centre agaknya. aku kembali ke bilik membuai mimpi. namun, matahari tegak, kepalaku berdenyut-denyut, aku bingkas ke dapur menjenguk ibuku yang sedang membuat persiapan meniaga.
Beberapa minit kemudian, ayahku kembali. dia tidak berkata apa-apa dan aku tidak mengharapkan apa-apa. Aku tegar keluar masuk rumah, saja membuang masa, menyibuk melihat ibuku membuat kerjanya. Bosan melihat, aku masuk ke rumah lalu berselisih dengan ayahku yang hendak keluar.Namun sebelum dia keluar, dia menunduk dan mendengus mencapai sebuah beg di tepi pintu. beg yang kelihatan seolah-olah beg yang kite dapat kalau beli handphone.
"mesti ade kene mngene ngan broadband nih......" getus hatiku.namun, aku masih tidak mengharap apa-apa.Tiba-tiba, ayahku memanggil dari luar.
"Nah! amek nih! due ratus *smthng2*! jawab2!!..eysh..."
"eyh? ah??"aku kebingungan dan terlihat sebentuk benda yang berkilauan diunjukkan kepadaku. tanpa perlu memikirkannya, dengan sekali pandang aku tahu apa yang berada di celah jari ayahku itu. hatiku melompat kegirangan.
"eh? baru ea?" ibuku mencelah dan terjenguk-jenguk.
"yela..tak boleh betul..."
"ooOooOooooo........"ibuku tersengih dengan penuh bermakna.
"nah, amek ni.cucuk je dlm komputer pastu die setting sendiri." ayahku mengarah sambil mengunjuk broadband yang berwarna biru tua itu kepadaku. aku mencapai sambil tersengih-sengih lantas menghilangkan diri ke dalam bilik.........
YEEHAA........!!
p/s:how's my attempt in writing novel-like malay??=D
"Syah!! cpatla ni cakap ngan abah ape yang rosak broadband ni!"
aduh..kepala terasa berat, badan terasa malas. namun kerana broadband perlu dibetulkan, aku gagahkan diri juga. Dengan penuh lesu aku mengorak langkah keluar bilik. pintu dikuak. di depan bilik aku melihat ayahku berada di depanku, memegang broadband ku yang telah jahanam. terpisat-pisat, aku mendekatinya.
"Huhm??"!dengus ayahku.
lantas aku menerangkan tentang keadaan broadband ku yang jauh di sudut hatiku, aku tau, mmg takkan dapat dibaiki...
ayahku lalu berpaling dan menuju ke luar, ke celcom centre agaknya. aku kembali ke bilik membuai mimpi. namun, matahari tegak, kepalaku berdenyut-denyut, aku bingkas ke dapur menjenguk ibuku yang sedang membuat persiapan meniaga.
Beberapa minit kemudian, ayahku kembali. dia tidak berkata apa-apa dan aku tidak mengharapkan apa-apa. Aku tegar keluar masuk rumah, saja membuang masa, menyibuk melihat ibuku membuat kerjanya. Bosan melihat, aku masuk ke rumah lalu berselisih dengan ayahku yang hendak keluar.Namun sebelum dia keluar, dia menunduk dan mendengus mencapai sebuah beg di tepi pintu. beg yang kelihatan seolah-olah beg yang kite dapat kalau beli handphone.
"mesti ade kene mngene ngan broadband nih......" getus hatiku.namun, aku masih tidak mengharap apa-apa.Tiba-tiba, ayahku memanggil dari luar.
"Nah! amek nih! due ratus *smthng2*! jawab2!!..eysh..."
"eyh? ah??"aku kebingungan dan terlihat sebentuk benda yang berkilauan diunjukkan kepadaku. tanpa perlu memikirkannya, dengan sekali pandang aku tahu apa yang berada di celah jari ayahku itu. hatiku melompat kegirangan.
"eh? baru ea?" ibuku mencelah dan terjenguk-jenguk.
"yela..tak boleh betul..."
"ooOooOooooo........"ibuku tersengih dengan penuh bermakna.
"nah, amek ni.cucuk je dlm komputer pastu die setting sendiri." ayahku mengarah sambil mengunjuk broadband yang berwarna biru tua itu kepadaku. aku mencapai sambil tersengih-sengih lantas menghilangkan diri ke dalam bilik.........
YEEHAA........!!
p/s:how's my attempt in writing novel-like malay??=D
Thursday, August 27, 2009
huwarghhhh!!!! finally....
whew.. setelah sekian lame akhirnya dapat jgak connect internet. cnnction cm ayam.
too bad..syarah, liyana..i lost my mood already to update this thing. and this fucking keyboard is driving me mad!! im typing ike im typin on a typewriter. depressing...
what have i been doing at home for the mid sem hoiday?
well basicaly i sleep,wake up, hang around for a while, watch those stupid indon series on tv ( tho istill watch it...does that make me..........oh, nevamind),asar, go out to help my mum at bazar ramadhan, go home, watch tv n eat some more, sleep. (yes i did not go to masjid bcoz masjid at my place....conquered by indon, retarded children everywhere, better juz do it at home)
eh, wait???bazar ramadhan?
yessss!!! i have to help my mum at bazar ramadhan. n guess what she sells?? rjak asma. i dont seem to fancy it tho. but whatever, its not like i have to eat it everyday ( well in fact, i do, but its not ike i have no other choice. id be dead if thats the case). im pretty glad my parents and family doesnt have to go home around 11 again everyday. usually my mum sels floers during the fasting month. so she gets realy tired n juz cook superficial dishes for sahur.u know..sardine n stuff... sedih gak ar. now its much better.but...well, break fast plak affected. of course, i have to break fast at the bazar ramadhan obviously. we'll just eat something just to break and 'eat' at home. funny tho, what should we eat??...since during the day my mum was busy preparing the rojak's thingy, she obviousy did not prepare anythng. my eating pattern is disastrous. i feel like puking al the time. my tummy hurts..=(..uwekk..uwekkkk.....
er, hey!how bout homeworks???
owwww..s**t!! the godbless thing! err......err.....nooooooooooo.........i know nothing of it!!!!
erk...okay...so..wat now??
nak sambung bace manga yer. kangen bangat!! hehe..=D.. nga layan eyeshield 21 rite now.lets go,lets go!!
*pardon the spelling error .freaking keyboard.malas nak btolkan.....OKAY!! i'll get to my homeworks later!!surely!!! sh*t!!argh!
too bad..syarah, liyana..i lost my mood already to update this thing. and this fucking keyboard is driving me mad!! im typing ike im typin on a typewriter. depressing...
what have i been doing at home for the mid sem hoiday?
well basicaly i sleep,wake up, hang around for a while, watch those stupid indon series on tv ( tho istill watch it...does that make me..........oh, nevamind),asar, go out to help my mum at bazar ramadhan, go home, watch tv n eat some more, sleep. (yes i did not go to masjid bcoz masjid at my place....conquered by indon, retarded children everywhere, better juz do it at home)
eh, wait???bazar ramadhan?
yessss!!! i have to help my mum at bazar ramadhan. n guess what she sells?? rjak asma. i dont seem to fancy it tho. but whatever, its not like i have to eat it everyday ( well in fact, i do, but its not ike i have no other choice. id be dead if thats the case). im pretty glad my parents and family doesnt have to go home around 11 again everyday. usually my mum sels floers during the fasting month. so she gets realy tired n juz cook superficial dishes for sahur.u know..sardine n stuff... sedih gak ar. now its much better.but...well, break fast plak affected. of course, i have to break fast at the bazar ramadhan obviously. we'll just eat something just to break and 'eat' at home. funny tho, what should we eat??...since during the day my mum was busy preparing the rojak's thingy, she obviousy did not prepare anythng. my eating pattern is disastrous. i feel like puking al the time. my tummy hurts..=(..uwekk..uwekkkk.....
er, hey!how bout homeworks???
owwww..s**t!! the godbless thing! err......err.....nooooooooooo.........i know nothing of it!!!!
erk...okay...so..wat now??
nak sambung bace manga yer. kangen bangat!! hehe..=D.. nga layan eyeshield 21 rite now.lets go,lets go!!
*pardon the spelling error .freaking keyboard.malas nak btolkan.....OKAY!! i'll get to my homeworks later!!surely!!! sh*t!!argh!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
talk about private...=/
setelah sekian lame.. lets see... since february? i remain private without a single follower for my blog.muahaha..
eyy?? wats tis..?? 1 follower! ...syarah..... thank you dear, ur so sweet, but ur tainting my zero follower record. tsk3... well, wat to do. or r u obliged to do so because we're frens?? so romantic...isk2..so sad..
wel, nampaknye i at least can say i have a follower. eventhough she's my close friend, not very much far from private state. haha.. n i doubt you even visit my page every now n then anyway.=D
maybe i juz shud do this more often. this blogging thingy. but i just cudnt find the time to even start. i envy u guys who can always find time to do this sorta of thing. i spend most of my tyme lately sleeping. sigh~ today i wake up at 12p.m. wat chem 2 pages, sambung tdo...bgn kol 4.
wat the heck???
biological clock aku sucks gle ujung minggu......(-_-!)
pikir2 susah gak tinggal bilik sorang. hanyut. anyways, thats rite.......... I FINALLY CLEANED MY E120 ROOM! finally... i got the room since sem 2, last february kot. muahaha.. skrg dah August, baru kemas. .rearranged all the furnitures.katil, L shaped.desks, ujung both katil.my 'instrument', sebelah study desk. lockers, seblah instrument. kerusi, atas locker(ingat nak buang je tp mane tau ade kegunaan satu mase nnt. muahaha) finally boleh diduduki. to: all my friends
MEHLA DATANG BILIK AKU!!!! (^_^)
Credits to LIYANA karena membantu aku mengemas and helped me also in figuring out on the furniture arrangements when im all confused. Arigatou ogazaimashita!! Aishiteru ne!! =)
i see no point to blab about actually in this blog. saje amek feel blik baru. hihi..
still, i need to think whether to move permanently or not. so lets list and evaluate..ngeh3..
Reasons to move:
1. Memangla aku ade wat dose sket2 tu, aku manusia bese. namon, nape bilikku panas gle. arghh!! mengglegak paleotak. kipas paling power pun bdan blecak gak.
2. Setakat ni aku rase tilam katilku paling keras antara mane2 tilam yang pernah aku cube kat kolej ni.
3.i think my rumet wudnt actually mind.n aku akan ade privacy.. hurm....
4. bilikku private lebih luas, ade due katil milikku, tade gangguan n ni ialah -bilik aku-
Reasons NOT to move:
1. Bilikku dekat..takyah jln jaoh blik klas pnat2.
2. bilikku dkat ngn blik Tv.
3. dari bilikku bleh dnga azan ngn jlas. (ceh! =P) tolla....
4. bilikku private jao. sket je. tp jao gak.
5. tinggal sorang hanyut.
6. klu pindah nanti bilikku private pnoh brg. tak besh.
Currently im staying in both.but having to go back and fore to my room from my room is quite tiring and time consuming. but to move permanently means i cant enjoy the privileges i have with my current room. tahla..HELP ME!!
I'll do what i feel like doing first. I'll do the deciding later. Its still too early to make decision.cewah.. ngeh3..
okie dokie! back to reality. Business IA sweetheart. lets go..IKEZO!!!
eyy?? wats tis..?? 1 follower! ...syarah..... thank you dear, ur so sweet, but ur tainting my zero follower record. tsk3... well, wat to do. or r u obliged to do so because we're frens?? so romantic...isk2..so sad..
wel, nampaknye i at least can say i have a follower. eventhough she's my close friend, not very much far from private state. haha.. n i doubt you even visit my page every now n then anyway.=D
maybe i juz shud do this more often. this blogging thingy. but i just cudnt find the time to even start. i envy u guys who can always find time to do this sorta of thing. i spend most of my tyme lately sleeping. sigh~ today i wake up at 12p.m. wat chem 2 pages, sambung tdo...bgn kol 4.
wat the heck???
biological clock aku sucks gle ujung minggu......(-_-!)
pikir2 susah gak tinggal bilik sorang. hanyut. anyways, thats rite.......... I FINALLY CLEANED MY E120 ROOM! finally... i got the room since sem 2, last february kot. muahaha.. skrg dah August, baru kemas. .rearranged all the furnitures.katil, L shaped.desks, ujung both katil.my 'instrument', sebelah study desk. lockers, seblah instrument. kerusi, atas locker(ingat nak buang je tp mane tau ade kegunaan satu mase nnt. muahaha) finally boleh diduduki. to: all my friends
MEHLA DATANG BILIK AKU!!!! (^_^)
Credits to LIYANA karena membantu aku mengemas and helped me also in figuring out on the furniture arrangements when im all confused. Arigatou ogazaimashita!! Aishiteru ne!! =)
i see no point to blab about actually in this blog. saje amek feel blik baru. hihi..
still, i need to think whether to move permanently or not. so lets list and evaluate..ngeh3..
Reasons to move:
1. Memangla aku ade wat dose sket2 tu, aku manusia bese. namon, nape bilikku panas gle. arghh!! mengglegak paleotak. kipas paling power pun bdan blecak gak.
2. Setakat ni aku rase tilam katilku paling keras antara mane2 tilam yang pernah aku cube kat kolej ni.
3.i think my rumet wudnt actually mind.n aku akan ade privacy.. hurm....
4. bilikku private lebih luas, ade due katil milikku, tade gangguan n ni ialah -bilik aku-
Reasons NOT to move:
1. Bilikku dekat..takyah jln jaoh blik klas pnat2.
2. bilikku dkat ngn blik Tv.
3. dari bilikku bleh dnga azan ngn jlas. (ceh! =P) tolla....
4. bilikku private jao. sket je. tp jao gak.
5. tinggal sorang hanyut.
6. klu pindah nanti bilikku private pnoh brg. tak besh.
Currently im staying in both.but having to go back and fore to my room from my room is quite tiring and time consuming. but to move permanently means i cant enjoy the privileges i have with my current room. tahla..HELP ME!!
I'll do what i feel like doing first. I'll do the deciding later. Its still too early to make decision.cewah.. ngeh3..
okie dokie! back to reality. Business IA sweetheart. lets go..IKEZO!!!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
MAAF,PERMOHONAN ANDA TIDAK BERJAYA.
hahahahahaha...=DD
di manakah anda akan jmpe pkataan ni.
teka2..
sile teka...
dh blom??
dh?
dh??
..
..
..
..
..
...................
jeng3..
huh, mnyigkap kenangan lama. alhamdulillah.. bkn kputusan yg same bgku.
skarang gliran para junior pulak. harap redha dengan segala kputusan yg korg dpt. Kalau dapat, Alhamdulillah, troskan perjuangan anda. sama ada rela atau paksa, wallahuallam, korg sdri lbeh tau. But I'd like to regard to an anonymous quote, "see opportunities in every hardships and resentment, not the other way around"(this is alittle bit my own word.=D). so walaupon myb korang rase tak rela, don't just accept and don't just resent blindfully. this is ur chance to assess. What, maybe IS my path? what is it that i actually WANT in my life? or maybe, if ur not sure, then u can just go with the flow. Allah maha pengasih, anda akan ditunjukkan jln. n..do ur BEST!! =)
However, for those who are a little "unlucky", tak dpt ape yg korg hajati, then dont be sad. Dont consider urself unlucky for not getting what u want. consider urself lucky instead, sbb apa yg korg rase dan percaye baik untuk korang, awl2 lagi Tuhan dh tunjuk,'that's not it'. so korang dh bole stat rangka khidupan korg dgn lbeh awl. dr sudut yg berbeze. look back and assess y, myb, that wht u want isnt actually wt u need bcoz Allah has already shown u that. So be grateful and be blessed because now u see CLEARLY that Allah is doing something for u. for the sake of u.
So, dear little brothers and sisters, i dont have much to say for i am not a good speaker, not good at comforting people (not even my frens) either, but i wud like to sincerely remind u with lots of care... whatever happens, whenever, wherever,only two words as a piece of advice and guidance.Have faith.
di manakah anda akan jmpe pkataan ni.
teka2..
sile teka...
dh blom??
dh?
dh??
..
..
..
..
..
...................
jeng3..
huh, mnyigkap kenangan lama. alhamdulillah.. bkn kputusan yg same bgku.
skarang gliran para junior pulak. harap redha dengan segala kputusan yg korg dpt. Kalau dapat, Alhamdulillah, troskan perjuangan anda. sama ada rela atau paksa, wallahuallam, korg sdri lbeh tau. But I'd like to regard to an anonymous quote, "see opportunities in every hardships and resentment, not the other way around"(this is alittle bit my own word.=D). so walaupon myb korang rase tak rela, don't just accept and don't just resent blindfully. this is ur chance to assess. What, maybe IS my path? what is it that i actually WANT in my life? or maybe, if ur not sure, then u can just go with the flow. Allah maha pengasih, anda akan ditunjukkan jln. n..do ur BEST!! =)
However, for those who are a little "unlucky", tak dpt ape yg korg hajati, then dont be sad. Dont consider urself unlucky for not getting what u want. consider urself lucky instead, sbb apa yg korg rase dan percaye baik untuk korang, awl2 lagi Tuhan dh tunjuk,'that's not it'. so korang dh bole stat rangka khidupan korg dgn lbeh awl. dr sudut yg berbeze. look back and assess y, myb, that wht u want isnt actually wt u need bcoz Allah has already shown u that. So be grateful and be blessed because now u see CLEARLY that Allah is doing something for u. for the sake of u.
So, dear little brothers and sisters, i dont have much to say for i am not a good speaker, not good at comforting people (not even my frens) either, but i wud like to sincerely remind u with lots of care... whatever happens, whenever, wherever,only two words as a piece of advice and guidance.Have faith.
"HAVE FAITH"
Have faith in Him..he who creates us and knows exactly what our defects and weaknesses. He who has unlimited love and care for us, His humble servants. He knows whats best for us and He will always shows us the path to be closer to Him. Remember, everything happens for a reason.(damn cliche'..hahaha). =P. No la, everything happens for the very reason of Tarbiyah. To educate. for us to be closer to Him. He is calling for u guys. Bring yourself closer. He gives u pain because He misses you. He wants you to go and seek him. How irony is that for us as a servant and Him as the Great Creator. How sweet is that? cant u see??
So lets just open our hearts to whatever it is the results that we get ok? this does not only apply to this very situation. but also whenever in life. =). Lots of love.Good Luck!!
Have faith in Him..he who creates us and knows exactly what our defects and weaknesses. He who has unlimited love and care for us, His humble servants. He knows whats best for us and He will always shows us the path to be closer to Him. Remember, everything happens for a reason.(damn cliche'..hahaha). =P. No la, everything happens for the very reason of Tarbiyah. To educate. for us to be closer to Him. He is calling for u guys. Bring yourself closer. He gives u pain because He misses you. He wants you to go and seek him. How irony is that for us as a servant and Him as the Great Creator. How sweet is that? cant u see??
So lets just open our hearts to whatever it is the results that we get ok? this does not only apply to this very situation. but also whenever in life. =). Lots of love.Good Luck!!
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