Saturday, October 30, 2010


just got through our first (supposedly) exam in rcsi. phew~

phew? i dont even deserve to let out a relief. i dont have a positive expectation on the result, but then again, i dont have any expectation at all. =/ i didnt have a burden on my shoulder to sigh relief to. i wasnt stressed out like some people did, i didnt work my ass off studying, i didnt let the 37minutes-25questions MCQ bother me at all. test? pfft.... .... aisyah shahrom, silelah berubah weyh. ini bukan zaman sekolah lagi.

just had our first (supposedly) test in rcsi.

the test accounts for about 1.25% of each module. 5 questions from each module. its really insignificant, yes, we're told that it isnt. its just to test our understanding, to assess our position, where we stand actually amidst all the never-ending lectures and anatomy classes. the assessment is not for the school, its for ourselves to see -to make amend where appropriate. in short, its just a scare.
honestly, after they say that, i dont understand why some people even worry about the test.

having the test:
it was all too quiet in the cheyne lecture theater.pass out the questions... yada3. flips the question paper.....oh.
soklan direct je. case yg panjang2 tu tak perlu pon. jawapan spesifik. ok.. aku tidak tahu karena tidak bace.. wats the point in even trying.. ma ramaitu iz ramaita walakinnallah harama. tembak.

but its just a scare. the whole point of the exam is to assess ourselves and to work towards change right? knape nak fikir that spesifik test je. wahai semua marilah fokus kepada long term.

the test triggered the formation of our study group. which is superb. because to start something is the hardest. but we started full blast with the test in mind. n we'll all make sure together that its continuous, God willing. and as for myself personally, it evoked the budak rajin-kyasu feelingness inside of me. kickstarted my study mode, to be more attentive, enthusiastic during lectures. (btw, i think i ike prof. dermot cox, he's so cuteeeeee! XD n eventhough u teach molecular and cellular therapeutics i'd still like ur lectures n topics ;D)

overall.. even without the result, even before the supposedly 'seeing where one stand', im already working towards the betterment.

hopefully this isnt just hangat2 tahi ayam, but i think i know myself well enough.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Dubh Lin ; the black pool

several days after i arrived at dublin, i wonder why i wanted to go study overseas.

the weather so cold.
the locals look at us af if we're intruding.
the foods so unlike home.
the house so quiet it feels crazy.
the school so far from home.
the classmates all...unfamiliar.

but i arrived with a severe flu and landed with a headache, everything seems negative to me. being just flown halfway across the world to start a new life as a student totally independently puts some pressure on me. everything just seems...serabut.

the house, owh when are we moving in, settling down.
the classes, gosh where do we download where do we print the lecture notes, n y the heck is there a class at 8am??
the groceries, wat do we need, wat else, why isnt there much food in the house, wat is there to eat....i need jajan.. :/

but then.. it rained.

it rained it Dublin and i felt my first splash of Irish rain. felt good. :) we were going back from class and its like 6.30pm n dark n i smiled all the way back with a wet face.
someway, somehow, rain makes me feel happy, giddy, cheerful, smiley....peaceful.
it surprises me that even the rain in this dark dull town gives the same effect to me. i get this magical-ish feeling. haha.

n then from there things change.

groceries bought, kitchen stuff is much more complete, more food, less stress. ;)
extremely increasing appetite. hungry all the time. n trust me thats a good sign.
my flu got better, my mood improved, n better anatomy class experience. how i hate to suck in my mucus with the strong smell of cadaver(-_-!)
eating lots and lots of chocolates evryday. wee~
got used to the mild wind, not so chilly anymore, very, very pleasant autumn breeze.
it so quiet here, you can just grab a book and bury your face in it for long hours without being interrupted.(mind you, non-academic books)
it is such a conducive learning environment altogether.

despite being a dull, cold, boring small town.. i think i love it studying here. there, i said it.