Wednesday, December 21, 2011

from my p.o.v. : memoirs of a geisha

I can't believe after reading more than half of the book, i've only just realised that it's a fiction! :O Know how i came to finally realise? I googled for the painting that was mentioned in the story, well, in the hope of seeing some depictions of the setting to enhance my imagination, only to find out in google answer; 'the story is a fiction, so all the characters are not real''. Oh the disappointment. D:
This all owes to the translator's note, signed Jakoob Haarhuis, Professor of Japanese History, while the author's name has been clearly printed on the front page, Arthur Golden! Oh i can't seem to get over my foolishness. I was completely deceived! Yet somehow, i can't help to think, that is exactly why it is put there. To make it more realistic, and give the impression to people, the one it gave me. Clever indeed.

Throughout the story, you must expect to encounter a lot of japanese words like okiya, obi, different geisha hairstyles, the different tools etc. At first i was ready with my laptop in front to google those words but in time, i just went with the flow. At some point or another, i was able to guess what the words meant anyway.

All in all, I think the author really did a thorough research. The story was delivered from a first person point of view. Any of you who have ever recreate a story by using first person point of view should know that it is super hard, because well, you must BE the person. Understand the emotions,be familiar with the culture and be vivid as well as intimate with the personal experiences. And from what i've read, the culture was so rich, so, so rich that i can imagine Sayuri herself was speaking. I mean, geisha culture is a mystery, is of secrets. Valued and protected. To be able to describe it clearly, one must have been living in one themselves. I'm really amazed at how delicate and precise the story was told.

Opss, let's take a moment back. I should describe briefly what this story is about. This book is centered around a girl named Chiyo, which was later known by her geisha name, Sayuri. She used to live as a little girl in a little fishing village with a sick mother and a really old father. Mr. Tanaka, the owner of a fish restaurant there, somewhat the rich man of the village, thought it was his duty to save these poor children, Chiyo and her older sister, Satsu. Poor Chiyo thought Mr. Tanaka was going to adopt them, but instead they were sold to a geisha village. Somehow, he hoped that these will help the children open a path for a better future. Chiyo was taken by the Nitta house in Gion while Satsu who hasn't been blessed with much beauty was sent to a prostitution village. The only geisha of the house was Hatsumomo, who was the most beautiful geisha at the time, yet the most notorious and venomous woman in town. Hatsumomo can't stand other people being better than she was and she became jealous the moment she set her eyes on Chiyo. This is because Chiyo had a pair of extraordinary blue-grey eyes. Mr. Tanaka once sent a letter along with tablets of memorial of Chiyo's parent said roughly, along with the news of her parents' death, ''It's rare for a swan to be born amongst birds'' so he wished that she'd make full use of her opportunity there to learn and become a geisha.

Hatsumomo is a very clever woman. She went out of her way to destroy Chiyo's future till Mother of the house decided that she could not become a geisha. She stayed at the house as a maid to pay back her debt, which was her food there, the money paid to acquire her, lessons, medical cost etc. She had such miserable life until one day she met a certain Chairman who gave her a piece of kindness that affected her so much that the thought of Chairman alone kept her going on. The hope that one day she'll meet him again. Anyway, Mameha, the other popular geisha, and Hatsumomo's arch enemy, decided to take Chiyo as her little sister, as in geisha little sister. Which means she'll guide her through becoming a geisha and throughout her geisha career as a way to get back at Hatsumomo. Though in the end it turned out that the Chairman's the one who asked Mameha a favour of helping Chiyo. She succeeded in persuading Mother to at last allow Chiyo to learn to become a geisha again. Finally Chiyo became a geisha, and a successful one at that too, owing a lot to Mameha's tactics and guidance. Yes, tactics. Because you can't really just count on beauty or entertaining skills to be 'popular'. Somewhat like marketing in business.

And..skipping a lot of conflicts and stories, Sayuri ended up having the Chairman as her danna; the person who support her financially and everything in exchange for 'special privileges'. Somewhat like patron-mistress relationship. Only very rich people can afford to become a danna. She ended up living in New York opening her very own teahouse.

Living a geisha life is not at all glamorous. Well yeah, you get to enjoy all the finest thing in life; expensive sake, lavishing kimono, extravagant rooms, decorations and ornaments. But there's more to that than meets the eye. Well, basically, geisha is an entertainer. Whatever you feel whatever you think doesn't matter. Geisha are trained to put on this mask of a face to be forever pleasant, to be able to tease and strike conversations in every party, in whatever companion. Your emotions don't matter, as Mameha said, ''We don't become geisha to be happy, we become geisha because we had no choice.''Beneath all those expensive stuff and elegant mask, they are living the life of slaves, bound to their houses, until they pay back all their debt. Even if they gain independence, there's no security to the future if no one wants to have you in their parties. What else is to become a geisha after spending all their lives into becoming one? Amidst spending most of the time with the richest and most influential men, enjoying the finest thing in life, they really are living in a small world of themselves.

True, geisha are all pampered they don't even clean their stuff themselves, don't even dress themselves but there's no doubt they do know and understand sufferings. During the end of the war years, geisha villages are forced to close. The geisha with no other choice are forced to make a living by working at the factories, which is next worst to being dead. No complaints were associated, all understand that they must find a way through it. Sayuri was even super grateful to have a house to live in even though she practically destroyed her years of nurtured silky hands by the works that she must do to stay there.

One time, Nobu(Sayuri's admirer) got really mad of something and asked if Sayuri was a fool enough to sleep with a man like the minister if given the chance. He bled his hand crushing the tea cup and Sayuri was panicked. Nobu said, ''Answer me!'' Then Sayuri thought it was clear what the answer she should give and said no. Then Nobu calmed down. It just gave me a thought,that to deal with a man in anger, is to just give whatever he wants at the moment. Even if you are in doubt or disagree, the important thing is to settle down the person first and bring him to calm. Later on, Sayuri slept with the minister anyway. But that is all something in the future, and the consequences is to be dealt later. A human overwhelmed with anger is as close as a beast because he would have lost the sense of thinking. I just thought...I should take note of that.

In the story i noticed a lot of reference usage. ummmm how should i explain it because i think i'm not using the correct term here. When a character is trying to describe something, they often recite of a relating past experience, to make explaining much easier. For example, when Sayuri was trying to describe her feeling of relief and glad she would recite, ''one time, there was a boy...I now understand how the boy must felt...'' Allusion! yes that's the correct term. okay i'll recite one complete example.

Sayuri has a great desire over Chairman. However, Nobu who has great affection for Sayuri is Chairman's closest friend not to mention he owes Nobu, as he said, his life, for saving Chairman's company. Not until towards the very end of the story though, that it was discovered that Chairman has the same feelings for Sayuri but he feels that he cannot betray his dearest friend. Sayuri, on the other hand, set out a plan to make Nobu despise her and drop his plan of becoming her danna, because if that were to happen, her fate will be sealed with Nobu and her chances to be with Chairman will be forever gone. So that's why she made out with the Minister that i just mentioned that made Nobu super furious.

So, finally after all that, Chairman came to Sayuri and recited a memory about how he was interested in a very skilled worker who works with the supplier company that he is in good terms with. One day the worker quit his job with some reason like he's taking a break or something. So the Chairman came to him and asked if he wanna work with his company. The worker agrred right away and told the Chairman, he was always wondering if the Chairman would ask him to work at his company until one day he realised that the Chairman wouldn't. By doing so, the Chairman will sever the good ties between his company and the supplier company. So he decided to quit the job himself so that Chairman could offer him a job.

This is to say, the Chairman noticed what Sayuri did with the minister and Nobu. That's why he is driven to come to Sayuri, confess his feelings for her and propose himself to become her danna. It's just, to me, it made me think. What are the chances of what's happening today, becoming the prospect of tomorrow? I mean, looking at both ways, how today is indicative of the future, and how in the future, we can use past experience to enhance understanding. I feel that it gave me a sense of how tiny things in life, all the events whether we notice it or not, are significant somehow.

In entirety, I think the choice to write in the form of first person narrative is a most cleverest one. You couldn't have done it otherwise with the mysteries and secrets behind a geisha's life. Narrative makes the whole thing a lot more vivid, and very...present. Like it's happening now, in front of your eyes. Even though the setting is way back during world war, the emotions and all the eternal conflicts are just so familiar, you could relate anyway because humans are humans, regardless of time and place. I enjoyed reading the book. The experience was absolutely a unique one. Most definitely an interesting read.

p/s: no wonder.. Arthur Golden is a graduate of Harvard College with a degree in art history specialising in Japanese. Awesome shiz!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

early adulthood crisis

Sometimes i feel frustrated with my lack of creativity; to produce or think of something out of nothing. While i have been so long content with my significant ability of being innovative, to turn and twist things to make them more interesting or as they say spice things up, to compensate for this lacking, sometimes i guess...i'm just jealous.

It's a bad thing to have really, jealousy. Because it means that you are insecure. that you want the things others have that you don't. Well, pardon me. I, I am insecure. That perhaps is indicative of me being ungrateful and less appreciative of my own value. Which in turn,as you may expect, contributes to the down gradient of my self-esteem...
and you should know damn well that i hate it when i feel that way.

Initiative, to me, is a very close attribute to creativity. See, i do realise, after going through a few rounds of experiments with myself in this so called circus of life, that i do have some awesome thoughts and ideas at the back of my head. Sometimes. People may not know it but i am a big dreamer. I do dream about things, here and there, this and that...and when i do, i dream high and hard. Just the way dreams should be. However, Behaviour and Attitudes have not been blessing me with their kindness. I am lazy, i am a slacker, i am very easy-going. I do aspire all these big stuffs, it's just that at the same time i still have the thought of 'mehh, i can still live without it' or 'i really don't mind'. Saves me from a lot of headaches. Likewise, 'saved' me from a lot of opportunities.

So after a series of 'why couldn't i be/think like that' i began to feel hopeless and pathetic. Like i'm not doing something meaningful with my life. I know... to live life happily, we should focus on what we have instead.
mann.. sometimes i hate myself when putting out thoughts like this because i always find it hard to finish any thoughts at all because in the middle of it, some countering thought would come along and destroy the whole point of the statement i was intially trying to make which then makes it meaningless to say anything at all in the first place. but for this purpose i shall ignore this annoying counter argument and lay down my point completely. D:<

When i see these clubs and organisations that i can be a part of but i'm not, i feel really sad. Not to say i have a natural leadership trait or anything but i have always been like that, always, since school. The sense of being a part of something. Slowly, not at all times, though consistent. Librarian in standard 4, almost made head librarian in standard 5 had i not been appointed prefect. Head Prefect in standard 6, after only being prefect for a year beating my best friend who has always been thought to be the head because she's been in the job for 3 years, not to mention a teachers' favourite. Penolong Ketua Tingkatan which is as good as ketua tingkatan because we girls almost all the time do all the work, form 1 and form 2, form 3 i declined the post. Form 4 voted PKT again, but i was appointed prefect so had to let go of the job. Form 5 i was President of english society and we managed to tackle the cancellation of the so much anticipated english week by substituting with our very own, English Carnival. And that year, i am proud to say, English society had at least made its name after being invisible for so long eventhough we don't win the best society or anything like that. I was also commandant for PBSM marching team, and the vice president.

Then, what happened? here's what. KMB. Kolej MARA Banting and all it's evil associations. I was elected as Wakil Pelajar although people may not really vote because of my manifesto or me personally, i don't care. I was really uncanny and unfamiliar of the MPP system because i came from as good as a daily school. But all these people, majority of which from SBP, MRSM were like, 'brought up' in it. I mean i really want to try out my luck and run for the election, but honestly, i didn't know what i was doing. I was so confused. I only actually filled the form at the thought that i might regret it if i don't try out for this. And i hold on to that, still. I admit, i lack strong will. I don't actually have a reason to do it. I only have a reason to not do it. Which, as you might expect, directly and with haste brought me to my first predicament; manifesto. Well..yeah, i just told you, i don't have one. Wrong move. So i made up something, but not sounding like i'm promising anything which you might expect to be...unconvincing, weak. In conclusion, my manifesto speech was crap.

But somehow i got elected anyway. I ranked number 9. To be frank, i think it's because i looked decent enough, in my picture, cause that's how people vote anyway, based on looks, me included. Physical looks matter man, like it or not. That's how the world rolls. Then i got the role Secretary. To tell you the truth, i really like the position of secretary. I can boss people around, lead people to productive and realistic discussions, and not worry much about work. And I did come out with a brilliant idea from a secretary's point of view, to improve MPP's document keeping. I wasn't so successful at following the plan through, however, with all the assignments and studies that i'm even barely keeping up with. Ugh, i tried so hard to change my life, my everything, how to approach every single problem just to make things work. But IB is just soooooooo volatile. It's like a typhoon, always changing. I was struggling, just to adapt! When can i have the space to work on my studies, assignments, and above all at the same time, keeping my sanity, all my faculties intact?

Also, i was so really frustrated with my team members. Worse than me, some ran the election not out of their own will. Where's the sense in that? The beginning was so very immature it drove me to madness. Seriously! and a whole lot of other thing that, you know, if not everyone is up to it or enthusiastic about the job, then really, it's not gonna get that far. Plus, this is where i learn, the less people you work with, the better. Don't get me wrong, two heads are definitely better than one, but not to the point that there's not really a significant job to the position, just to have that position. Okay i am getting emotional, but you get my point. After KMB i promised myself if i'm gonna take up any other position, i'm gonna be sure about what i'm doing.

But really though, opportunities never wait. So i am having a lot of internal conflicts. To be or not to be... From experience i learnt what i ought to do, but i can't help to feel what i feel when things like this happen. When i have the opportunity to be in control, to be ahead of things, to represent and voice out instead of keeping things in because if it's not to the right people you voice out to, better not say anything at all. To take matters into my own hands. To be around the people who are 'aware', who talks about improvements, who are dedicated on making a better this and that.

To do that, it means i have to present myself, to show to people what i have and mark my words...certain people, people who actually work to make the world a better place, don't just wanna see a good personality. They want great, new and fresh ideas and that, my friend, is the whole purpose of this depressing post. I rarely have one.

When things like this happen i'd always end up comforting myself(as usual). To accept myself for who i am. Be true to my convictions, my beliefs and to not be affected of what i see of other people. Well i guess, Allah knows best. I'll just return to Him for guidance. Everything has been set, my course of life, my qadar. I'll just pray for the best. To live my best with what i have.

Monday, November 21, 2011

polar opposites

When you asked if i wan't to work things out, you may refer to the current condition. Not I. Why do you think i took so long to give you an answer. And you went ahead and gave me that disappointed, sad, broken tone of voice. I don't want this to end just yet, me too, but i'm not sure where we're going either. So out of about 70% positive, i said 'yes, i do'. Such words, for me is a promise. Because i am 200% sure that this will happen again and again in the future, one of these things. They bound to be, when different opinions and personalities clash. They don't dissolve perfectly. They crash and hit hard on the surface, and then maybe, God-willing, begin to find spaces to seep into each other. and for us, they're not just differing opinions...they're opposites.

You would say a solid no when i say a solid yes.

I say things that i thought should evoke fun and laughter, but you went ahead and be mad about it and left me so devastated feeling sorry about something i don't even realise i did, or didn't mean to do. You know when you meant well, but people suddenly get all worked up about it you feel so disappointed and angry? I know you know that feeling. I know i did that to you at least once.

I have never felt so low yet so high with someone, just one person, before. This feels downright weird. If i love myself a little more than i do now, i would do well protecting myself from the harm that you can do or bring to me. Whenever this happens, my self-esteem would dive down like crazy. I hate it when i feel bad about myself. I mean, other people can not like me, but it is absolutely unacceptable for me to not like me. and i hate the fact that somebody else instead of myself is affecting my view of myself. I'm a long thinker. I think long and hard. I think short and far. I think about me, you and all. I think a lot. I thought, should i? am I the right one? or are you? Can this work? like, really2 there such thing as being TOO different?

I don't ever wanna start something that i don't want to end properly.

Today is today. What is to become of tomorrow? or the next day? or next year? 5 years to come? 10 and so on? Perhaps, by that time i should have gotten to know you well enough to know which button to press and which to avoid, keeping my hands to myself. To protect me from the danger of the 'unknown'. Yes, unknown. I don't pretend to act innocent because i think it's cute. I act innocent because I honestly don't know. I.Honestly.Don't. Thank God you're not playing the 'blaming game' too. I might be a tad crazier if that were the case. As for me, if i were to blame anyone, i could not blame anybody. Maybe just myself for not being able to be sensitive and see with emotional sight. ;( see? lowering my value.

I'm not her, she's not me. Don't expect me to be somebody i'm not.

You and i come from a different background, different family style, different circle of friends, social activity and education. I was brought up in this rigid system, like everybody else i know. School, sbp/mrsm, strive for the best spm result, strive for scholarship, any scholarship regardless of the course, most of us were still not sure about our future. Then SPC, then kmb/kms, then fly, then go back, get a job, get married etc very mundane. Very rigid. Very dependable on the system. So don't blame me for being one of 'those' people. I was moulded this way. I don't have my own wants and needs initially when my 'life' began. I went with the flow instead. So you can see how typically imprinted i am. You're right you know. Being judged, being stereotyped really does hurt. I know it was true, what went at the back of your head is true, but it hurts nevertheless. Those words... Because i reflect a lot, and it always comes back to that. Being me. What made me, me.

You speak of disappointment, of expectations. That next time you wouldn't expect such and such. Well, you know what, you SHOULD NOT have in the first place. Relationships are about accepting the other person for who they are. I daresay we quite barely knew each other, so, how would you dare associate me with any behaviour? Those are your expectations, they should not be my problem. Those are what you expect to get from your partner. Wake up call, real love don't expect. They give and accept whatever's given, and deal with it. Sometimes i wonder if you see someone else instead of me.

But you like differences, and i like challenge.

My words are given. I said, i want to make things work and thus however hard, i will strive towards that. Till it does 'work'. Because i don't leave things like this halfway. I know darn well this is not something that i can walk in and out easily. I walked in, I won't come out and step all over your heart if, if, there isn't a very good reason to. That's how big those words mean to me. That you made me say over a ten-minutes decision. I hope you realise that. They say the best relationship is when both can accept each other's differences. Well i guess, we have a lot in hand to make this one.

Monday, October 10, 2011

kitchen-ing; varying

New households new rules. Sekarang kitorang satu rumah masak sendiri2. At first macam whaaaaaat? but then i figured i've been pretty much living like this the last academic year, so i don't think it a big deal now. I am able to provide for myself, no doubt. hihi

Although now i have to get used to buying stuff on a smaller scale. Like, really small. We used to buy a bag of carrots for the house about every week. Now i only buy one carrot, just that, for God knows how long. haha. Now that im using the foodstuff all by myself, everything seems to take forever to finish. One thing runs fast though, milk.

So i noticed things haven't been consumed much, eventhough i feel like i've been eating a lot. I get bored sooooo easily by the same food over a short period of time. Had it twice, im bored, next! and eventhough i haven't been cooking much, i am not feeling bored just yet. I guess that owes to my varying skills? haha

For breakfast, i am looking forward for my cereal eventhough i've been eating the same type of boring cheap(if it's delicious it's expensive right? yea2..kedekot) cereal for almost 3 weeks now. Reason is it's not just cereal and milk. hee.. there's a whooooole lot of things that u can mix with your cereal breakfast. hehe. Virtually anything edible! Here's some of mine:

1. Cut pieces of fruits; bananas, apples, berries, kiwi, oranges...etc. (this is how i manage to finish my portion of fruits. hihi. Kalau tak mmg sampai busuk la tak makan)

2. Crushed biscuits; OREO! (nyum3), digestives, biskut marie, (biscuits usually give an attractive taste to your milk ;))

3. and let's not forget the sweet stuffs...chocolate! ; flakes, crunchie, smarties, white/dark/milk chocs... yum3.

4. Cakes. huhu ; this is nice to try. Like muffins or brownies. hmmm rase macam makan cicah ngn susu tu.

5. Toppings of any kind; honey, maple syrup, choc syrup, sirap sirap luls

6. Juice squeeze; lemon, orange, lime etc for adventure ;)

and....practically anything that's available in your kitchen at the moment. :D

and then not to mention the various things you can do with egg or bread...... boil em, half boil em, scramble em, fry em, sandwich, makan dengan nasi...and many2 moarr. google it ;)

oh, and awesome thing is, i just found this super easy way to fill my sudden cravings for dessert, sweet stuff, or cakes every now and then with..................teng teng teng; super easy super fast to make MUG CAKE!

oh you can just google to find the recipe it's so freaking easy the second time i did it i didn't even use the exact recipe. Just splashed in this and that, here and there. Btw, flour really is a useful thing to have in your kitchen. You can make jemput2/cekodok, cake, pancake/lempeng, when you suddenly feel like you wanna make karipap, or donuts for minum petang lalala. heeee... yea, it's so much more sedap if there's topping also. You can top the mug cake(oh i didnt use mug btw it's just too bothersome nak kacau all the ingredients in the small thing. i used a bowl.) with ice-cream, honey, choc syrup, melted choc etc be creative!

Having fun in kitchen! ey? eyy?? ;DD

Saturday, October 8, 2011

what i like about you ;)

when you're all sweaty after a workout.

when you're shirtless ;)

if you're wearing american soldier tag-shaped pendant. i feel like pulling it, make your face come closer to mine..and kiss you.

When you laugh like you don't give a damn about the whole world, like you're so happy and having so much fun. When your laughter feels bubbly and give warmth to my heart.

When you stare into my eyes with that cool yet penetrating pair of eyes. When you stare at me so intensely, my heart beats so loudly both of us caught it skipped a couple of beats.

When i turn to you and caught you staring at me.

When i look up to you and you just smile at me without a reason. I can't help but to foolishly smile back.

When i'm walking behind you and checking out your body, looking at your shoulder so broad, i feel safe imagining myself inside that frame of a body of yours and i said to myself, my man...

When you talk about the future like you want nothing else but 'us' all over it.

When i caught you getting jealous with other guys who were with me, and you face away, trying to hide your embarassed face. I feel so happy i wanna hug you and never let you go. Ever.

*this list is yet to be added*

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

wise words from great friend

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.

Monday, September 12, 2011

make believe; Universal Studios Singapore

Trip berdua sahaja dengan kakak sedare saya. This trip was long expected, since before i flew to Dublin, but well, circumstances delayed it. It was hard to plan since she's new in work so couldn't very easily get a double day off. I anticipated to have this trip on weekdays hoping for less people for shorter queues for rides. but oh well, turns out she got the holiday on a weekend, what to do. Friday evening i went to Larkin to enquire about the tickets for the next day, confirm it with akak, akak went to buy ticket from kl to jb that night, pick her up at 3.30 am, catch some more sleep, wake up at 7.30 to try and catch the ticket on 9.30.

We took the bus of 707 Travels Malaysia and Singapore, the booth right beside McDonalds at Larkin. Return trip to Sentosa costs RM15 each, paid in ringgit at the booth. Tickets depend, weekdays $66 and weekends $72 each, paid in Sing dollars in exact amount, also at the booth. There are money changers at Larkin so no worries. Buses on 9, 10, 11 and so on i think. Didnt really catch the later times cause i was just focusing on the early tickets, to get there as soon as possible would be what most people want i daresay. Ticket back i dont remember earlier tickets but i think it starts at 5.30 pm and last one is at 9.30pm.

When we arrived at larkin at 9.15 hoping to catch that 9.30am bus, the counter person said the bus dah jalan. it's actually a 9am bus. ceh. so i guess wat the hell, we'll just buy the 10 am bus. So we took the time to buy breakfast, mineral water, change money and fill in the white card(for singapore immigration). Urmm i dont know where you can get this but u can ask the person at the bus counter tu. You should totally have this to make things easier. You also should totally stock up on the foods, they're not gonna check the bags and the foods there are just dead expensive. for backpackers la.

After that we stopped for a while in front of JB Sentral and we got our rides tickets there on the bus. Stopped once at Malaysian immigration to scan the passport, then got back on bus. Really make sure you remember the people you are on the bus with and follow them. I really don't understand the ways there, there's no telling where to go to get back into our bus so be on alert. Then we stopped again at Singapore immigration to get our passports stamped. This here took a really long time. By the time the bus starts to move again it's 11.15. We arrived at Sentosa at about 12.

We went up the big escalator you'll definitely see when got out from the bus, turn around, and see the big universal thing that everybody takes picture at. the one with the smokey-ish effect coming out from it. Spent some time to take pictures, and went in.

hee..took quite some time to camwhore here. Don't wait for later. You'll never really sure if u can make it, the time la.

First of all we walked through a part of Hollywood part. took some pictures quickly coz theres only stores there, found marylin monroe, so we stop to take picture. She was looking..well..pretty dull for the character that she was supposed to play. Look at the obviously fake smile. fuuu..

The big Hollywood sign. My back to the entrance.

At the end of the road was a junction. We chose to go to the left first into Madagascar part. Welcome to Madagascar!

rawr! ;)

Hee.. So i think madagascar is more aimed for kids...or maybe i think we missed the attraction for the adults coz this is what we did there. hihi

On Melman's back. hee. Akak was sitting on Alex next to me.

Well the merry -go-round was okay. it's unique in terms of the characters and the different animals/car-like seats whatever. The music was..err..whatever i guess. One time it played Weezer's-Island in the Sun. haha. During our was a weird song i never heard of. hmm.. oklah. meriah la merry go round die. hihihi. There's one more attraction i dont know what the hell that was but the queue was super long and we thought it's just some kids' ride or something so didn't really do much here in Madagascar.

I was so excited to move on to the next part sebab dari jauh dah nampak the biiiiiiiiiiiig pink castle! soooooooooo prettyyyyy ;DDDD We have arrived ladies and gentleman to Far Far Away!hehehe. the atmosphere and urmm decorations? stalls and everything is very menarik! it's very far far away-ish. hihi. We immediately went to join the queue for 4D Shrek. The hall can cater for 500 people so the line moves on pretty quickly, although we did have to wait about...30minutes plus i think... or more. but i didn.t think it reached an hour. Then we got those glasses, went in, to a wide hall, for sort of like prologue. Then we moved to the other hall with seats, veeeryyy BIG. like i said, it can cater for 500 people. Then of course, all those 4D effects. Can't be telling you all about it. Got to experience it yourself ;) It's fun la :D basah jugak sikit2. i mean spray die memang banyak jugakla.. see the picture.

Far-far away castle <3

Inside the 4D hall wearing the silly glasses. Can see i've been sprinkled on :)

Then we went out and around to take pictures at the ogre's house. very3 realistic! sbijik mcm dalam movie. haha. sooooo fun to take picture around with. the environment around the house eventhough just a small area of made-up swamp, but the feeling is there. hmm.... :))

Ogre outhouse=toilet ogre. tee heee ;D

We sort of just went and about without really looking at the map or whatever attraction's there. We just wanna enjoy ourselves first and foremost. Don't wanna worry about all those boring stuff like locating places and hassling about the guide/map. i mean, we're in Universal Studios! Let's just live the fairy-tale! or maybe live inside the world.

So suddenly we're in Waterworld. don't really know what this was but oh well we just followed the crowd and everyone was lining up somewhere. a specific somewhere. so we joined the crowd not knowing what actually we're lining up for. huhu. Apparently, we're waiting for the water show. hmm.. waited about 30 minutes here? Not too long. and about another 10-15 minutes waiting for the show to start.

See, we're just following the crowd. hehe

Soooo many people >.<

While waiting, the actors splashed water at the crowd filling in the time, getting our attentions, and keeping us entertained. They did okay with that :) Oh, the front 3 seats is 'soak zone', the 3 or 4 after that is 'wet zone' so you can seat according to your preferences. There's 3 groups of seat, center, right and left. If you really2 wanna get soaked, i'd suggest you seat at the center. You'll definitely get wet. People were taking out umbrellas and plastics and raincoats and stuff like that. Those people, were really prepared, and they came to purposefully get soaked.

Oh yeah, why soak? because in the show there's explosions underwater and jet-skis. The rest, i leave to your imagination and guesses ;)

Wouldn't post too many pictures here. Don't wanna spoil anything. hee. So i guess Waterworld is kinda new the time i went there coz i think that was the only thing there.

We walked on till we reached Jurassic Park. Mostly there's only rides here. there's one ride which was closed at the time that i think might be fun to try because there's description like we can get soaked or something like that. like a water ride. but too bad it was closed then. so yeah. We just took pictures around there. Other rides are either too long to queue for which doesn't compensate the exciting-ness of the ride or it's a kiddy ride.

Uwekkk.. Where's my mummy??!!! XD

The ride at the jurasssic park. 4 people back to back on the hanging seat sliding on the rail. hmm *rawr!! i am the king of the jungle! ;DD*

Thenn we moved along quickly to the next part. We were trying to be swift because the weather's very gloomy. Takut kalau hujan tak dapat naik the roller coaster. and that kinda beats half of the purpose of going there. Like seriously. So we went around to take pictures first before going on the crazy rides. We found this guy below. He's VERY tall. Although not very friendly. I don't know maybe i supposed people like this should be friendly, interact and actually play their roles? and i think this guy should be somewhat like indiana jones or something. Doesn't hurt to act more like an explorer instead of a bored office guy forced to say the same script 'happy exploring guys' a thousand times.

He is sooooo freaking tall :O

Moved on ahead to take more pictures, trying to figure out where else we can pose, camwhore sessioning and stuff. Took a few more several snaps of pictures.

The background of this picture is THE roller-coaster. teehee. Will tell in a bit. After that we went to put our bags inside the locker. Pakai dulu bayar kemudian. Make sure to bring out your money when you put your bags in. Exact change/amount because the machine won't give back change. So boleh rugi kat situ kalau just ade 20dollar sahaja. mase tu masuk beg dalam dekat pukul 4 or 5. then ambik balik dalam dekat pukul 8. Kene bayar 18 or 19 dollar kot.

Then we quickly, dgn bergegas, went into the mummy ride. Indoor roller-coaster. My kakak sdare was soooo eager to make me naik that thing coz that's her favourite when she went last time. oh, die pnah pegi sekali. It was great la. Like roller-coaster yang ade story-flow along tapi tak se-busuk roller-coaster kat sunway lagoon. huhuhu. Sekejap je ride die. Tapi memang best la. The queue was quite long that time we waited for 30-45 minutes jugak.

After that we quickly went to the main event, *drumrolls~* ; Battlestar Galactica! :DD

There are two of which you can choose; Human or Cylon. Human is on the red track and Cylon is blue. Cylon is sorta like a mutated human or something like that. I wanted to try be Human first. hihi. urghh We waited for about 45 minutes here. In Human 'battleship' it's more of a seat and a bar from front pushed down on you, like the usual roller-coaster. I don't feel very safe in them -_- This is more of a typical roller-coaster, ups and downs. urghh i really2 hate the sensation when the coaster goes down. I feel very in the air. Maybe i should have went with the momentum and sit back but i can't help but to sorta braced myself when it goes down so i feel realllly weird D: urgh, lpas turun tu terus rase nak muntah. dahla kene turun tangga. elak tjatuh je lpas pusing2 badan camtu.

Then immediately after that we went to line up for Cylon. This one took longer. More than an hour. pnat gilaaaaaa tunggu. Finally dapat naik juga. Menyampah gila tengok orang yg ade mcm VIP pass tu. huh. Pnat mak tunggu, die selambe je jalan. Cylon is different as in it's a hanging seat. Your feets are dangling down and the bar is what you pulled down from up, holding down your upper body to the seat. Can you imagine? This one feels a lot safer and fun sbb kaki tejuntai. hehe. Oh i forgot to mention, when the ride starts, both Human and Cylon go out together, side by side, giving the impression that the 'battle' is starting. So the ride itself is much like the 'battle' between Human and Cylon which is a very interesting concept. but, once you're on the ride you don't really care about anything else you just scream and enjoy. andd..since Cylon is mutated human, it doesn't just go up and down. It also goes upside-down. hehe. and your feets are like dangling in the air, upwards. heee....words can't describe. I almost puked after the ride.

oh, along the way we found these two. Yang ni makcik suke. They interact and act which is fun and funny. Obviously they're singaporeans. with hot bodies. haha. The person besides me sorta like hold my neck a little before he posed like that. One of my favourite snapshots. :)

Contrasting pose la kakak -_- i'm happily scared, u suka.

We thought the place closes at 7 so we were really rushing about. By the time after we ride Cylon, it's about 6.30pm so we're thinking twice whether to wait on another ride. So to be sure we asked the person yang jaga souvenir stall kat situ. and she said the place closes at 9pm! We asked again twice. haha. and the rides too. Can't tell how relieved and excited we were. We thought we have to get ready to go home already.

Then the next thing we do is repeat the mummy ride. haha. and we were surprised to find there's no line there. Sampai atas adelah dalam 5 orang. We were very surprised. Thought it's closing, taking a break or something. The people who were riding along asked the person yang jaga the ride tu. They said people went to makan. Yeah..i guess that's possible.

After that we wanted to reride Cylon obviously once is just not enough ;P. Tapi sampai2 je die closed sementara, technical problems. Sedih gila D: So sementara nak tunggu die bukak tu kitorang naik dulu the ride near it. The one yang pusing2 mcm tah pape mcm yg duduk dlm cawan tu. hmmmm bosan gila. And then Cylon opens again and we immediately went in. Line mmg tak panjang lagilah kan masetu. Scream our lungs out, turun, and then after that kitorang terus masuk in the line again. Brader yang jage tu sampai tegur kitorang, ''best sgt ke naik ni?'' hahaha. dulik la bang. the third time we went on it's already dark, so we get to ride the roller-coaster in the dark ;) Lain sikit la feeling die. Feels more anonymous and freeeeeeeeeeeee. hee hee ;P Kitorang naik roller-coaster 4KALI okay?? hahahaha. and then kitorang blah sbb dah penat dah nak line up. puas hati la dapat naik 4 kali. hehe

We repeated the mummy ride, and to our surprise, there's no line at all! haha.. bahagie gila. Kitorang siap carik the camera and pose lagi. and sbb tak puas hati dgn gamba kitorang we rode another one time. hihi. My kak sdare and i finally inferred that maybe the people who were on trips and with travelling agents have gone home already. They surely have a scheduled plan and a booked place to eat and stuff like that.

After that, we were soo freaking tired, so we called it a day. For the rides that is ;D. There's still time to go around and take some more pictures and go buy souvenirs. So we went back at far-far away and guess who we met?

We were soooooooooo excited arghh. but when we went to the end of the line, the staff already stood there and said no more. ugh >:( stingy. So we just tried to snap pictures of them from far, between people. sobbs ;( what to do.
Oh yeah the scenery was awesomeee! There's pink lights shining upon the castle. wah, shining upon? haha. okayla spotlight. It doesn't look really pretty in the picture but real life, it's really2 pretty! Nothing can match the awesomeness of real eyesight ;)

muke pun dah berminyak. hihi

Posed for some more pictures at madagascar ;)

The madagascar family ;)

Continued on to the farther parts of Hollywood. The right turn when we took the left earlier. There's like a whole lot of other stuff but right then i was a bit too tired to pay attention so i just walked a bit absent mindedly just for the sake of sight-seeing and last snaps of pictures.

There's different kinds of hats to take picture with ;)

Then we meet woody woodpecker! haha. Happy gila! This really did compensate a little for Shrek earlier. Looove this snap <3 ;)

and Frankenstein ;) He was walking about je every now and then. But when we wanted to take picture with him, he's nowhere to be found. Talk about clever. I mean, we thought he was walking at this street cuz we saw him just then. But then he disappeared. :O impressed. haha

Then we went ahead and bought souvenirs. Went out, got a lantern on the way out which...we don't really know why, and waited for the bus. Got ourselves the ticket, went on the bus, went to Singaporean and then Malaysian immigration. And this is where shit happened. :S
Yeah well remember what i said about the immigration being confusing and all? Suddenly found ourselves going to JB Sentral, which is definitely not the place to go on our bus. Cause see here, we were following the people who were on the bus with us, turns out they were wrong too. So yeah, mmgla salah kan kalau ikut orang yang dah salah. When we finally got to the right place, we found out that the bus went ahead without us. arghhh mase tu emo gila dgn driver bus tu >:( I mean, waddaheck, we paid for a return trip kot! You should've checked for your passengers. Bukannye bas ting-tong. huh.

Then we went to JB sentral and tried to figure out what to do. We finally decided to just take a taxi to Larkin. Tak kesahla bayar bape2 pun. -_- It was...rm7, if i'm not mistaken. By now we were veeery tired so we went to rest a while in the sentral and sat on the kerusi urut for rm2. Sakit2 badan kena campak2 dalam roller-coaster :S haihhhh..then gathered up our strenth, paid the parking, and...breathed a lot of breathes, DROVE home. Kepala and badan makcik dah melayang-layang motion sickness. Tapi nak wat camne kan nak kene balik gak drive jela. Tapi sumpah kepala cenoneng. I can't even really tell where the middle line is. haha. pretty dangerous condition to drive kan. Tapi ntahla redah jeww.

We arrived safely at home at about 1 am. T'was a really awesome adventure! :)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

peter pan, the boy who never grows up.

The night on which the extraordinary adventures of these children may be said to have begun was the night Nana barked at the window, but there was nothing there. Not a bird or a leaf. So the children forgot about it, for what troubles a grown up will never trouble a child.

There never was a happier, simpler family.
Mr Darling was a banker who knew the cost of everything, even a hug.
Mrs Darling was the loveliest lady on Bloomsbury, with a sweet mocking mouth that had one kiss on it, that Wendy could never get. For there it was, perfectly conspicuous in the right hand corner.


Aunt- Wendy possesses a woman's chin. Have you not notice? Observe her mouth. There, hidden in the right hand corner, is that a kiss.
Michael and John- Gasp. a kiss? My mother's kiss
Aunt- A hidden kiss.
Wendy- But.. what is it for?
Aunt- It is for the greatest adventure of all. They that find it, have slipped in and out of heaven.
Wendy- Find what?
Aunt- The one the kiss belongs to.


John- Mother, can anything harm us after the night lights are lit?
Mrs Darling- No precious. They are the eyes a mother leaves behind to guard her children.


Wendy- Father? Brave?
Mrs Darling- There are many different kinds of bravery. There's the bravery of thinking of others before oneself. Now your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.
Michael- Where did he put them?
Mrs Darling- He put them in a drawer, and sometimes late at night, we take them out and admire them. When it gets harder and harder to close the drawer, he does, and that is why he is brave.

Wendy- What is your name?
Peter- What is YOUR name?
Wendy- Wendy Myra Angela Darling.
Peter- Peter...Pan.
Wendy- Where do you live?
Peter- Second to the right and then straight on till morning.
Wendy- They put that on the letters?
Peter- Don't get any letters.
Wendy- But your mother gets it isn't it.
Peter- Dont have a mother.
Wendy- No wonder you were crying.
Peter- I wasn't crying because of mothers! I was crying because I can't get the shadow to stick. And I wasn't crying!

Peter- Oh the cleverness of me!
Wendy- Of course, I did nothing.
Peter- Ahh you did a little.
Wendy- A little?... Good night.

Peter- Wendy, one girl worths more than twenty boys.
Wendy- You...really think so?
Peter- I live with boys. They're lost boys. They are well named.
Wendy- Who are they?
Peter- Chosen and fall off their prams when the nurse are not looking. If they are not claimed in seven days they are set to Neverland.
Wendy- Are there girls too?
Peter- Girls are much too clever to fall off their prams.
Wendy- Peter, it is perfectly lovely the way you talk about girls. I should give you..a...kiss.


Peter- Tinkerbell, she's my fairy.
Wendy- laughs. but, theres no such thing as..
Peter- Don't say that! Every time somebody says that, a fairy will falls down dead, and i shall never find her if she's dead.

Wendy- Michael! John! there is a boy here, who is to teach us to fly!
John- You...offend reasons sir.
Michael- uh-huh.
*Peter flies
John- I should like to offend it with you!
Peter- You just think happy thoughts, and they lift you into the air! It's easy.
John- I've got it! I've got it! Swords, daggers, Napoleons! Yeahuuuu!
Michael- Wendy, wendy, watch me! Puddings, mudpies, ice creams, never have to take a bath again!


Curly- The Wendy lives!
Peter- Its my kiss. My kiss saved her.
Slikely- I remember kisses, let me see it. Aye, that is a kiss. a powerful thing.

Slikely- She must stay here and die.
Peter- NO!
Slikely- oh. How could i've thought about that. Stupid. Sorry.

Slikely- Wendy lady, For you we built this house. With a door knocker.
Tootles- And a chimney.
*whispers* one, two, three
Boys- Please be our mother!
Wendy- Oh. Well it is frightfully fascinating, but you see, I've no real experience.
Tootles- Do you tell stories?
Wendy- Yes.
Curly- Then you are perfect.
Wendy- Very well. I will do my best.
Boys- Hooray!!

Peter and everyone- I do believe in fairies. I do. I DO!


Tink- ooohh.
John- That was no thimble.
Michael- That, was a hidden kiss.

Slikely- Brace yourselves lads
Tootles- Tis a powerful thing..
Hook- Pan, You'


Wendy- Mother, Father, I would like to introduce the lost boys. Hats! May i keep them?
Mr Darling- Well... I... the expense...
Aunt- Think of the neighbours.
Mr Darling- Dash the neighbours.. and dash the expense. laughs. Welcome to the family boys!
Boys- Yay!! Thank you. Thank you.
Michael- Will these help the expense father? pours golds
Mr Darling- Gasp. Anyone for a poney ride?!

Tootles- Im Tootles.
Mrs Darling- Tootles Darling! hugs
Curly- Im Curly.
Mrs Darling- Curly Darling! hugs. What's your name?
Nimps- Nimps. I plan the battles.
Mrs Darling- Would like a mother Nimps?
Nimps- ...Yes! hugs
Mrs Darling- Awh!

Aunt- what is the matter child?
Slikely- I couldn't find the house, and now everyone has a mother...except me.
Aunt- ...Is your name Slikely?
Slikely- Yes.
Aunt- Then I am your mother.
Slikely- How do you know?
Aunt- I feel it in my bones.
Slikely- Mother! hugs.
Aunt- George! Mary! I have a son!

There could not have been a lovelier sight, but there was none to see it except a strange boy who was staring in at the window. Peter pan had countless joys that other children can never know but he was looking at the one joy from which he must be forever barred.

Peter- To live would be an awful big adventure.

Wendy- Peter! you won't forget me will you?
Peter- Me? Forget? Never.

Wendy- Will you come back?
Peter- To hear stories, about me!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

curing the heart, social relationships

this all started with a friends (word)fight on facebook.

And i thought, my god, this is very crappy and shitty, so messed up it breaks my heart. Such a taint in this wonderful, beautiful ramadhan when everybody was eager to increase their amal. When my home news feed is filled with posts about ramadhan all the time. When people are busy reminding each other to be closer to Allah. I feel very, very, very disappointed...with what? the situation? i dont know.. maybe the attitude of some people.

Coincidentally, thank gracious god, i am in a more serene and calm state towards the end of this blessed month. No, this is definitely not the ramadhan that i am proud of but at least, something happened in my heart. It's tilted a little by Allah towards the better. Very little though but very meaningful for i have forsaken Him for too long. And what sweeter gift than the hidayah that nobody else can give but Him? I decided to improve on my behaviour, my choice of words, my attitude especially on social networking. (okay but honestly with my close friends, i'll maybe have a bit of a challenge)

When i saw the post, i was really angry. I immediately remembered a tweet once by #DamnItsTrue, "if your best friend got into a fight, you're automatically in it too". Naturally, i'd immediately felt a strong impulse to stand up for my friend. Yet by nature and by habit, i hate and avoid conflicts. I did immediately clicked on the comment box, but it took me about 5 minutes to edit the comment i just typed out. In the end, i approved only, "be nice guys" in the hope of sounding neutral. In the hope that i will not be another 'victim'.

However, these guys should i describe it...impossible to talk to. All they want is to be angry and make other people angry. Provoking people with harsh languages and words that are undoubtedly hurtful. I was hurt right away with their words. Oh how it sparked anger faster than you can finish reading them. It was quite challenging but i managed to calm myself down and replied what i felt was sensible and acceptable. I admit though, i was in a pretty bitchy mood when i replied. Sorry dude, not this lady. You cannot provoke me with cheap tricks like that.

Then i thought, this is super uncool and i definitely want this to be done and over with before it gets any worse. First step was of course, to remove one side. Bertepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi. I forbade my friend from replying anything at all. I purposely used that word, FORBID, to emphasize that it must be done. No compromise. For i know, my friend here is very angry and they are very provoking, if i was in her place i'd have a strong urge to fire back. It's a wise, yet very hard decision to bite your tongue and remain quiet while others are stirring anger in you. I know everybody knows that, but somehow, there'll always be that, 'okay one last comment, one last grenade'. NO. Refrain yourself with all your might at the VERY FIRST provocation. We tend to lose all rational thoughts when overwhelmed with emotions. Critical situations like this require exact and clear instructions from a third party.

After that, i hoped to gain truce and began to investigate on the source of the matter, which i became to understand to be a major misunderstanding. Then i offered myself to be the middle person. Even my other school friends said that they hope this matter could be settled in peace, that they don't like this scene. I offered a solution. However it seems that the other party isn't looking for any. In fact, the word 'fun' popped out. I was super furious with the attitude, but i managed to keep my head and accept the decision.

My fury continues on. Like always, twitter is my refuge.

"Ok the decision has been made. No truce or peace can be gained. Let them be. Only death can cure a fool."

"We shall be the better men and keep our cool. Poise, composure, calm and sensible are the winning traits. Mengalah tak bmaksud kalah!"

I very recently encountered this japanese proverb, only death can cure a fool. I said that out of anger. For that is what i think of the likes of them. Fools. I can't see any gains at all from their actions and of course, the so immature attitude and decision. If you could only read what he wrote to me...i feel so ashamed that i offered to help in the first place. So ashamed to have wasted that effort on the likes of them.

I know i shouldn't feel that way. we seek to do good deeds none other than to please Allah. If what we did, didn't work out, let it be. We have tried, and it's always the effort that counts. Allah said,

Oleh itu berikanlah sahaja peringatan (kepada manusia, dan janganlah berdukacita kiranya ada yang menolaknya), kerana sesungguhnya engkau hanyalah seorang pemberi ingatan. Bukanlah engkau seorang yang berkuasa memaksa mereka (menerima apa yang engkau sampaikan itu) [al-Ghasyiyyah 88: 21-22]

I don't know maybe it doesn't fit but who cares. It touched my heart and that means, to me at least, that it's very much relevant. After that i did sunat prayer and recited the Quran. When my anger is lifted, i feel that we should pity them instead. They are doing nothing but being cruel to themselves. And are WE the better creatures? Best thing to do is pray for them, pray that their heart will get better, and so would ours, so that we wouldn't get so angry easily.

I'm so glad i changed to twitter for my thoughts instead of facebook. It saved me a lot from foolish and childish remarks to the public. "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt" (Abraham Lincoln). I very much refrained myself lately on posting a facebook status. Even if i do i would think several times if it's wise, if it brings down my dignity. If i can't decide, i'll decide to not post it. At least on twitter it's a little private and i know those followers well.

There would be less fights, less break-ups and more peace in the world if facebook doesn't exist. I now began to reflect a lot on the necessity of having a facebook account. I used to want to show everything of my pictures, update my status almost all the time...but now... i don't know. I don't feel anything for that anymore. I even think it's okay that i delete my account right here right now, given that i've saved whatever i think is precious of course. But no, that won't do. Not yet. I will still keep my account. No really deep thoughts about it... yet. the end, this is all just part of the TEST my dear friends and self. Hopefully we passed with flying colours.

Friday, August 19, 2011

diary of a drinks tycoon in bazaar ramadhan

okay i know that sounds pretty cheesy and lame but here's bits and pieces of what i gathered up along the way every evening throughout ramadhan ;)

1. being the great tycoon that we are

During weekdays, sales are pretty satisfying as most working people just buy everything at the bazaar to make their life easier. During weekends however, it's pretty slow, since, people are at home, most of which are cooking their once-in-a-while special dishes or eating outside with families and friends.

weather-wise, when it's scorching hot, when even our own godbless throats feel very dry, it would be non-stop sale, non-stop packaging, non stop 'thank you-ing'. All the drinks would, by the end of the day, left to a very pleasing to look at level. Top sale of the day would very evidently be air asam boi (sells like pisang goreng panas), people would ask for more ice, and some would buy two instead of usually one for themselves. And all that is very much ka-ching for us. On the other hand, during damp days, we should do well reminding ourselves to keep the packaging at a moderate level as so will the sales.

Selling in a place near or at a shopping complex means that you'll definitely gonna have a certain amount of customer, which would be the shopkeepers, sales assistant and everybody else who everyday dwells within that complex. Sensibly, most of them would not trouble themselves to go to any other bazaar ramadhan since they have one nearby anyway. Other than the security of having a customer you'd also have a higher chance of having regular customers, which is not only good for our cash box but also to our personal motivations.

2. the many types of people that i amuse myself with in observation

the really small boy buying and i ask him, "cawan ke plastik dik?" and the answer i get "plastik la kak takkan nak minum kot" and i mumbled back "manela tahu nak belikan adik" ceh cover.
and the next day he comes again and i saw him wearing a school uniform with dark green pants and light blue tie............... #awkward

the boy that would "cik!" loudly from far, and i would answer"ye!", browse through all the containers once, twice and walk away........... #darnit! he is the above boy.

the guy that would stand in front of the containers and would go "air............................." for about 7 seconds or so. and i would "mende bang?" dlm hati.

the people that would order a drink, and then once i've put in a small plastic bag and ready to hand it to them, would then, then, pronounce a second choice of drink. #sabar jela nyah

the pak haji or imam looking person, i would always try to avoid serving and leave them to my brother. would be so overly-conscious to not touch his hand during the drink-money exchange. #wayyyyawkward

them people yang mase all of us dah settled down nak buke baru nak beli. rase cm nak hmm.. tapi rezeki and customer kot. #sabar itu sebahagian drpd iman

owh not to mention them people who i have trouble deciding which to call. ermm.. kak atau bang? ^^ohmygod them breast are bigger than mine :P #astaghfirullah

and there would always be that ONE person whom i will remember his face and gladly serve to when he comes to buy our drinks everyday ^.^ #teehee

and lotsa of other people, as people are; different and uniquely weird. But these people are, like it or not, the customers, the source of our income and our rezeki. and it's never right to speak ill of the rezeki that we have been lucky to be blessed with.

I remember one time, when i was 11 or 12. I was waiting on my mum's raya cards stall and the young guy(probably 2 or 3 years older than me at the time) was also waiting on the same stuff next stall. We were talking over the barrier between our stalls and a customer interrupted to ask something(im guessing from my memory a lot since my friend here was quite annoyed) about the cards. Then he went and complained to me, spoke ill of that person, something like (very roughly), 'byk plak cekadak die, tak nak bli blah ar'. The language was, pretty harsh. Which might explain the reason when one of his customer who was browsing through suddenly said, 'takleh camtu dik, awak ni mniage...etc'. It was quite a lecture. I can feel that he was pretty embarassed. We didnt talk for a while. I let him be. Point is, because of that incident, I remember that lesson forever after. Even if u feel shitty and that it's much easier to strangle down your difficult customer, keep it inside and just swallow it deep. Not much of a loss.

3. etiquette

SMILE. I am somehow glad that i have been blessed with a pair of lips that can easily shape into a smile or a sweet-looking face even with the slightest pull. In school, people used to comment, 'senyum ape tu sorang2...' but honestly i wasnt. Was just pulling my face in deep thought or just being plain silly. There are times when i feel tad tired and weak, prolly because i just woke up in the afternoon. I do realize though, a lot, that we should always treat the customer like how we want to be treated. If i was buying anything, i'd love it if people would smile and say thank you to me. After all, i am spending money on your stuff. And i shouldn't even describe how a smile can make one's day. Who knows, the people that are buying from you, just had a hard day, and your smile just lifted the burden off their chest, somehow. That's cool, right? So even when im tired, i just pulled my face a bit. Fake, at first, but in time, became real.

Before, i've always made an emo/angker face whenever i am not laughing. I kept hearing that people thought im a hard-to-approach type and that i can't smile. That latter comment kinda hurt me. But surely, there's some truth in their words that i should take note. So now, im trying my best to put on a happy, smiley face all the time because i myself love to look at those people whose smile seems to never fade from their face. It's not that i don't smile, i just...forgot.

CRUSH. Is it actually okay to have a customer crush? haha. I don't think it's cool or right to be flirting with your customer but..errr...ohdear. and it's Ramadhan too! sheesh silly girl..

okay at first i exchanged flirtatious smiles with him, but by time, being the steel heart that i am, started to feel very awkward and disgusted with myself. Then i tried to be less 'intense' haha i hate these words that im coming up with. hmm.. so i guess it's gonna be okay. I'll just be patient for another few days and ramdhan, and bazaar and crush would soon be over. hurahh!

so i guess that's it. of what i can think of, that is.

Monday, August 8, 2011

too much for this untrained brain

A lot of things have been through my mind lately. A LOT of things. No, not in terms of thought, but actions. Stuff that i wanna do, i want to accomplish. Too much that perhaps i need a plan for it. But oh, 'when does our plan ever work?', says harry to brilliant hermione, with bitter frustration and absolute urgency. But honestly, if you dont plan it, how on earth can you make it practical and applicable. Sure, you can be spontaneous, go with the flow. With one-off event yes, but not with routines. And that is what's this all about.

I have known and discovered myself long ago to be a self-enriching and enabling-greedy person. To make it into simpler words, i want to be able to do EVERYTHING. To BE everything.
Beautiful. Brilliant. Strong. Independent. Capable. Graceful. Elegant. Talented.
Okay scratch talented, that's not something i can work on. by definition, it is something possessed from birth. well at least that somehow shows i do realize my limit.

I have been, for the past few months, super-conscious of my beauty aspect.

I started having persistent blemishes on my forehead. Have been swimming in sea of hairs amidst my lecture notes. So i started investing a sum of money on beauty products, which are only good for temporary relief, and none to my hair. Been rummaging through youtube to find suggestions for solutions n i found plenty home-made remedies like facial, daily face care, preventing hair fall which all got pretty good reviews and comments. But, surely it needs consistency, taking care of my beauty. Trying to imagine myself in my to-be-room and house for the next academic year, when exactly am i gonna do all this, mix all those stuff, squeeze them lemons and limes?

Another haunting and bothersome THING/ANIMAL/DEVIL that will always forever spread sprouts of evil in my mind, would of course be my personal financial.

I have been financially independent for a year now and i'd like to keep it that way for the rest of my life. Promised myself i would definitely not ask money from my parents so long as i have my scholarship allowance and i got work. Fortunately i'm a woman, so there's only the need to bother about keeping meself provided and happy. And my family of course, my family family, not my going to be family by marriage pregnancy birth etc. Will be living in a more expensive house next year of 360euro a month, which may not be much of a burden, perhaps. perhaps. perhaps.. (still tokleh trime kenyataan sobbsss) oh well. It's definitely possible to have what leisure i had living for 275euro a month of last year(shit that's a 100 euro plus T_T) if i calmly think about it. Life would definitely be a bit brighter than before, living with people who are actually home, living closer to college, to food shops and shops in general, not to mention school gym in which i plan to go. Yeah, maybe it will pay up. Those 'little things'.

and then there's that whole plan of travelling.

To definitely make full use of each and every day of my holidays. Which will be plenty. I don't know where i plan to go yet, but definitely aspire to cover more grounds, farther. Would be going back studying in malaysia soon after and get allowance according to malaysian student amount, hence, will no longer enjoy the luxury which i usually have of many money, and nearer destinations. Alas, nearer destinations with extra frequency puts pressure on my financial health nevertheless.

Thus i plan to work next semester.

My 3rd sem would be more relaxed, as im always understood, so i think i may have extra time to earn money. Being a medic student frustrates me in many way. It cuts me short of the most valuable resource, time. i need to earn extra money for all the above and below, and also for use when i get back to pmc to buy a car, and extra pocket money to make sure i'll maintain my 'luxuries' even with a fall in allowance.
I wonder, though. would any place at all take a temporary worker for only half a semester? Because the semester after that would be very tough, an introduction to a new phase in my medic studies. We'll start going to hospitals, and be very often asked on what we have learnt the past 3 semesters. i'll have to constantly, regularly revise. Sigh. As to that bothering thought, i will push to the back of my mind for the time being. Let me just find a suitable work first and foremost.

I also plan to enrich myself with musical instrument.

I guess not many knows that i pursue electone course for about a year while im in kmb. I could not continue that for the time being on a matter of cost and practicality issue. All sorts of bothersome stuff. A few months back, i think of pursuing it still, though on piano. The instrument much less heavy and it's more common so it would be easier to find teachers. But now, i have decided to hold off that one and postpone it to perhaps, when i get back to pmc. I'll pursue electone again in penang insyaAllah. I'll make sure to see this one through. As to now, i need to see through my plan to learn guitar. Bought a guitar on impulse last sem. Thought i could learn it off by myself somehow. (It's always like that. i'll make it out, SOMEHOW. i should learn to try to atleast plan something. sigh) I still cant get a hang of it. Will try to find someone to teach me in dublin later. Searching for possible teachers now.

I plan to work out and exercise more often.

As of now, it has officially been more than a year that i did not push myself to run, and really run and put my stamina on the test. i am beginning to feel like a wilting vegetable, gasping over a mere climb of a floor's stairs. Heart pounding over a short sprint(if you'd call it a sprint) and feeling tired, weak all the time. Now that my house is closer to rcsi perhaps i can spend more time at the gym during (any season of the year but especially) winter really early in the morning or late at night. Yeah, so that cancels out the plan for me to buy a certain2 equipment for me to be able to do simple workouts in my own room since i might as well just go to the gym. Yeah! the bright side has shown itself a little..

...and God knows whatever else that pops up in this little brain of mine.

For certain parts, i have already tried to make it a routine. Little by little. Hopefully it will stick through. I aspire to be more efficient in my personal finance, thus im already seeking out ways to achieve that. I'm taking baby steps, that's what they call it. Struggling, wobbly, tumble down every now and then but indefinitely would some day not just walk, but run.

I know, it's so stressful to make plans, yet not knowing how to carry it out, how to find that way. But i have this strong belief that if we know what we want to achieve, that we focus and clarify that end that we want, we will always be aware of the paths, the ways when they come across us. When there's a will, there's a way. It's true. It's not just some hopeful words, but it's what really happens. And if you're want-to-achieve list is as much as mine (hopefully not), it's better to break them in parts and see what's feasible to do first and weave the others in along the way, little by little, one by one.

I pray that i'll see all my plans through, till the end. I pray hard.