so much for my happy summer hols

YEAHUUUUUUUU!! SUMMER HOLIDAYS Y'ALLL!

So i came back about a week after i finished my exams and went straight to London the day after my last exam to go look for souvenirs for people.

myself, safira and acap with trafalgar square in the background. under the summer rains.

spent about 4 days there, then back to dublin and spent about another 2 days trying to figure out how to clear all my stuff. ALL of it from the house. I never moved houses before, well i did, but that was when i was like, 1? so that doesn't count. So before i went to the airport i stuffed all my belongings in the taxi but apparently i have just too much stuff that i have to leave my bedside table(25euro, yes liyana you can leave it in the house since its a trouble for u to move it, haven't replied to you, will do soon afterwards, this) and my hangers. Honestly even though it's almost a week after exam but there wasn't really enough time to properly do all those stuff. I left the house in a messy manner, i should have done my share of cleaning the house in some way or another. I bought souvenirs randomly and quickly. Turns out that the guys in my family are actually a size or two bigger than i anticipated them to be. Ended up having to ask the people who are still in Dublin to buy the proper sizes. That's a very2 bad way to manage my financials. Back here, now, i have to update and re-estimate my budgets. rabak2~~

well so here i am now, back in malaysia, so semangat nak pegi karok n jadi tahi wayang. But saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly, there's no one around to accompany me. i am so not in the mood to be spending time out alone here back in Malaysia. I've had enough time alone in Dublin :(

and so here i am all alone, at home, doing pretty much nothing of importance or significance to be mentioned, for the whole week lamenting, being devastated at the fact that the first week of my holiday when im all semangat, there's no one around to ask out. I am BORED TO DEATH. BORED I TELL YOUUU. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

well enough of this. it makes me fell so shitty and that is definitely NOT the holiday mood im looking for. True, i have all these plans and all these things that i have in mind that i wanna do. But i wanna do it bearing in mind that im gonna do it with somebody. Well i guess for the sake of my own peace and wellbeing, i have to reset that mindset. I will be doing the stuffs that i wanna do alone. fuck it. Be it the same as ever, as i have been doing these past long months. It's so much better than just laying around doing nothing feeling all down and poopy.

so nowww.. i'm a bit more semangat to do something. Last night i tried to reset my biological clock, right now it's seriously upside down, like, about 165degree deviated, but to no avail. I have been having so much trouble waking up during the day, i mean, what much is there to do at night, especially for a girl, yg tinggal kat kampung, like me? So basically to put my life this whole week in simple words: no life. I tried Sarah Yuzari's method of not sleeping until it is the time you should actually sleep. Naww.. i think that method doesn't suit me. I'd sleep even if i have an important assignment to hand in anyways, if i feel like sleeping. So im taking the opposite approach tonight. To sleep, wake up and sleep again at normal times. lols. i love me. can sleep anytime ;D we'll see how that works out.

tomorrow, im gonna go wash and cut my gandalf-long hair, go and have a facial, look for some baking stuff, cooking stuff, to start my cooking mode again, and i guess this week i'm gonna try some new western recipes, bake cheesecake, cupcakes and brownies. finally, LIFE! and im gonna give up waiting for that someone to ask me out. gahhhhhhhhhh! it's so frustrating.

oh, and maybe have some alone bowling time while im at it. (sounds so hard to do, but i did that, a few times...... sad. Well if im damn good like ajibXjamu i wouldnt mind bowling alone am so much better than a few people men bese2 je. But well, im not. In fact, im getting worse. arghh, matilah aku asek kne maki ngn ajib je nnt D:)

well, all that sounded good, but it all comes back to my state of mind when i wake up tomorrow. I hope im gonna be fit mentally.

oh, i know there's like tonnes of chores that i can do around the house, but it all comes back to my motivation, which is pretty shitty at the moment. So yeah. Toodles.